• TRANSFORMATION • INSPIRATION • REFLECTION •
Priorities are a part of everyday life. Most of us use calendars to keep task list of what needs to be done when, yet how many of us, at the end of the day, feel we have been productive.
Then there are those who have no lists. No to dos....and what seems to others and no priorities.
Our task lists, or lack there of, are patterns of our decisions. These patterns provide a map to what is most important to us and how we base our priorities. Even not having a task list there are patterns to our decision making. Looking at our decisions, we tend to base them around 5 simple aspects of living:
Financial - any element of your life where financial needs are a priority (i.e. job, work, stock market, etc
Mental - any element of your life where your mental state of mind is a priority (i.e. reading, spa, learning, etc.)
Spiritual - any element of your life where spirituality is a priority (i.e. meditation, devotion, church, etc.)
Physical - any element of your life where your physical needs are a priority (i.e. working out, eating, shopping, etc.)
Emotional - any element of you life where your emotional needs are priority (i.e. relational, coaching, therapy, etc.)
If you are the type of person who "has no schedule" and are spinning your wheels to get somewhere in life. Moving forward requires a plan. A plan is a road map, Priorities on what is important to get to where you are going to go. The cool thing about this road map is there are many, many different roads and routes to getting to your destination.
For those who are living based on schedules and task lists, feeling as if the production you are putting is out is costing more than it is brining in. Stop and take a look at your road map. Take a detour. Maybe you need to change the financial road to the spiritual road. Maybe you need a vacation, so you choose to take a mental route. Whatever it is, changing priorities doesn't change the destination, just how you get there.
So take a look at the output of your life. Your kids. Your family. Your job. Your home. You. Check your destination. Is the road your on, your output, leading you to your destination or have you somehow hit a detour? Pull out your road map of life and get moving once more. Align your priorities to fit the road and get moving!
Next time, Part3: Priority Is, Priority Does...what to do when others have different priorities than you.
TLK, Vivaciously Designed
Do you ever wonder why people say they are going to do something and then don't follow through and wish they would just get their act together?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you said you would be somewhere or do something then never followed through?
I know I have been in both situations and when either one of them happen, there is a very personal destruction thought pattern I go through. When either one of these situations take place I find myself thinking, "How in the world did that happen...again?" or "What kind of person must they think I am?" In either situation though, priority is, priority does!
Some may call it an integrity issue, I say it's a priority issue that affects the integrity. They go hand in hand.
No matter what relationship you find yourself in, from co-worker to spouse, there will always be times when what is important to you (a priority) is not important to the other person and vice-versa. Over the next couple of posts, I am going to be taking a look at what priorities are, how to change them if the results are not what was expected, and how to be in relationships when the other person had different priorities.
What Is Priorities?
Priorities are when a person, thing, or fact is regarded or is treated as more important than another.
In order to understand priorities and relationships, there is another word to look at. Culture, the who, what, where, when, why and how of every story, of every human being. Culture, always running from it or running to it, dictates what is important and drives each persons priorities. Culture can be propelled by emotions, thought patterns, as well as personal history. Culture = priorities, or does it?
Priorities are supposed to change as people change. Unfortunately, most people get "stuck" responding to life in the old culture rather than changing priorities to fit the new culture. A great example of culture changes are seen within the dating cycle (I am using a simple cycle, rather than a complete or complex dating cycle as I would use during a coaching session)
Culture shifts begin from the time we are born and continue throughout our life. Without the understanding of how to switch the priorities, or learning to change priorities to match the another person's priorities, it can be very exhausting mentally and emotionally.
Setting priorities is a selfless act. It is much easier to shift priorities when the other person has similar priorities, which is called being like-minded (Phil 2:2). This means each person is working with the same goal and are headed in the same direction. It is important to note, priorities are one of the elements that can either make or break any relationship. Learning to set priorities is a skill using critical thinking.
In Part II: Priority Is, Priority Does I will outline how to align priorities during culture shifts to receive expected results. In the mean time, let me know about your culture shifts by answering the following question: What culture shifts are you going through, and/or do your priorities fit the culture shift?
Tiffany K, Vivaciously Designed
Kevin, my husband, is hosting his first men's retreat this weekend. The entire weekend he will be speaking to a group of about 12-20 men about intimacy; how to be leaders both in their home and within the church.
The topic of intimacy is a big one because it is the essence of all relationships and what Love is.
I remember the first time I understood what Love was. It was something I was trying to ascertain and kept reaching for it daily. I had read about the Law of Attraction which states we receive what we reflect and I kept receiving heartache and pain. So what does it mean to reflect Love so that I could be love and be loved?
It means becoming intimate, first within my spiritual relationship, then second within my intra-personal relationship, which is the relationship with myself.
I spent many years searching for Love by giving of my body in sexual pleasures and received a bunch of emptiness in return. When someone asked me to give all of myself to them, the only thing I had cherished the most was my virginity, and I gave it away, what else is there left to give? Why would anyone want to carry my pain and guilt and remorse, those things I have carried most of my life?
I was born and raised in the Church of the Nazarene. My best memories as a small child are filled with fellowships and gatherings; where potlucks and Sunday evening celebrations were the norm. I can still hear the adults laughter, the children playing, and everyone gathering around the piano's to sing. I can even hear the silence as people sat and listened when someone was hurting and then the sound of everyone praying at the same time, adults and children alike. It is the sound that makes my soul skip. It is the sound of intimacy.
What happened to sharing our pain?
When did we become to embarrassed to let others know when we are hurting?
Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this the true essence of Love? Aren't we supposed to carry each other's burdens to the cross the way Christ carried our burdens on the cross for us when He died? Aren't we called to fellowship with one another, feeding each other and sharing our hopes and dreams in order to encourage each other?
And not just to those whom we call brother's and sister's, are we not also to give to those around us so that they too will know the Love God has for them?
I miss those moments in time! I miss fellowships! I miss realness! I miss intimacy!
It is moments like today, when my husband is away, I rely upon my intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father to carry me through. He knows everything about me and still loves me...just like my husband....just like my earthly father. We are in an intimate relationship together!
Are you wanting an intimate relationship with those around you? Start by looking at your spiritual relationship. What does it look like? Do you spend time investing in as much time your spiritual relationship as you do in your earthly relationships, or even your relationship with yourself?
It takes time to develop, and there are principles and priorities one must practice in order to build a strong healthy relationship, whether spiritual, intra-personal, or inter-personal but it can be done. Start today by just spending a little time in gratitude, even if it seems to be a bad day. Thank your Father for the day. Then find something within yourself you like and go reflect this to others. Maybe it is the fact you like to cook, or sing, or play music, or draw. Whatever it is, give it away to someone today and start building an intimate relationship with those around you.
Innocent perception is seeing life through the eyes of a child, the way children see life.
Simple. Judgement free. Carefree.
Using innocent perception to see people, places, and things is just the begging! The result it brings is a new way of thinking. A new you!
Perception plays a huge part in our decision making process, so creating innocent perception results in freedom with a rare opportunity to just be you!
10 ways to start to create innocent perception.
Comment below with other ways to create innocent perception.
~TK, Vivaciously Designed