• TRANSFORMATION • INSPIRATION • REFLECTION •
Sometimes it is easy to think I am the only person who struggles with persevering. It is in those moments when I am working hard to accomplish a goal or task most important to me when my mind tells me it isn't possible or I don't deserve it.
This month I really only had one task to accomplish. To write my personal statement (500-700 words) for graduate school. I have wanted to reach this point in my life so bad, for so long, I thought I would never make it. Then I woke up and realized it is just around the corner...here for the taking. BAMB!!!
That is all it took to knock me off my confidence block. Can I really do this? Do I really think I can make it into graduate school? Who in their right minds is going to hire me as a doctor?
One day a couple of weeks ago my husband, Kevin, sat me down and said, "I have something to tell you." I said, "Okay. What is it?"
"God doesn't need you. If you decide to not do what he is calling you to do, he will raise up someone else to do it. God only wants you to want him so bad you are willing to do what he asks you to do. But the truth, he doesn't need you in order to accomplish his will. So, how bad do you want to do what God has called you to do?"
I can't even tell you if I responded. I only know that over the course of the next couple of weeks I have been working on my outlook and how I spend my days. In fact, I finally finished my personal statement for graduate school...and you know what?! I felt like I accomplished something I wanted bad!
Personal Statement for Graduate School
The last time I posted anything was just days before my brother died very unexpectedly and tragically. I have not written anything since. Today I will do my best to write something worth reading.
I used to dream about this blog site going viral and all of a sudden I was helping thousands of people. Then, I thought about it. I spent the past months thinking of writing. Wanting to write. Yet everything just sounded so stupid. The question kept going 'round and 'round in my head,
"How can you help anyone when you couldn't even help your brother?"
So I just keep remembering the last times...
The last conversation was loving.
The last laugh was joyous and full of life.
The last voicemail where he said, "I love you, sis."
The last cup of coffee and he brought the cream.
The last dinner together at mom's house.
The last poker game at mine.
The last invite left unspoken
The last Super Bowl fight.
The last family dinner at Maggiano's
The last spoken dream's about life
I love my brother, Randal Brien Moore. I wish i could have reached him and had just a few more years to spend showing him my love.
Would it have made difference?
If he had been given just 'another five minutes of my time', would I have done or said anything different?
My selfishness holds me back from even seeing if answers to those questions.
He chose his last time in this world...he went to a better place. A place where tears and pain no longer exist for him. A place where he is truly capable of understanding the Love and Forgiveness!
This year I want to honor my brother and am still thinking about what that means. I know he watches over me and smiles as he pats me on my back and says, "Just keep going. Do what I was never capable of doing!"
I have sat long enough and thought of the last times...time for some 1st times!
Time to welcome 2014!
~Tiffany Kronz, Vivaciously Designed
I know I am due to you all a "Part 3" of my series and it is the works. In the mean time, this hectic life has caused me to slack in my writing so I just wanted to "check in".
I used to ask myself if dreaming pays off. I have spent a life time dreaming...always knowing I was supposed to be someplace different than where I was. Reaching for the stars. The man on the moon. That someone special with a special message.
Do you have those kind of dreams?
My momma used to tell me I was born special, to do great things. It was really difficult to believe when I went against everything I stood for and begin to live a life of guilt, shame, remorse, and regrets. Over the past month I have finally reached a destination...a milestone...where I can say I am living what I have always dreamed about.
I am getting paid to what I love! FINALLY...and I absolutely am at peace and comfortable. Until it gets uncomfortable.
There is a price to pay for following one's dreams. It is being willing to live without the luxuries and the amenities one becomes accustomed to living with when there is a steady paycheck hitting the bank. There comes a point, though, when the luxuries just don't do it...happy does things NOT one make. Following your destiny, your dreams, your vision and passion for life is happiness.
It took some life coaching sessions, and years of self discovery, to finally be willing to take the leap of faith. It was April 2011. Today, November 2013, I have finally made money doing what I set out to do. I have lost a lot along the way, but the satisfaction is real to know that what I know I know and it is information someone else can use. (I hope that makes sense).
Wanna see what I've been up?
Check out this website I have been hired to build through the Business Coaching: www.idahodfcsociety.org
Leave your comments below. Let me know what you think. It is still being worked on with the customer.
I also have started selling a line of jewelry & hair accessories for both women and girls called Paparazzi. It is affordable to everyone at $5.00+tax. I love their philosophy and believe in what they are doing so have now made this a part of who I am. So welcome Paparazzi Brand to Vivaciously Designed.
Then there are my clients I now have all while going to school full time to finish my BA in Psychology. Should be done by December 2014...Yay!!
Stick with you dream, you might have more than one, but there is usually a driving dream...the thing you want more than anything in the world...it is this dream to grab ahold of and not let go. The rest of the dreams are what I call supporting dreams. They are the dreams that help you get to where you are going.
So tell me...What's your dream?
Today is October 31st, or Halloween. Growing up in the Christian faith, this holiday has never been a huge holiday although we did dress up and we did go trick-or-treating. It is just my parents, or moreso, my mother, never let us dress us in something evil or scary. We never did any scary movies or horror houses. In fact, halloween was more of a "hallowed be thy name" festival.
As a kid I didn't understand why everyone was watching Friday the 13th while I was making smiley faces in the jack-o-latern's. Or why I got to dress up like a clown while my friends went as witches and goblins.
Today I have understanding! Hallowed be thy name!
Hallowed, honor as in holy, the name of Jesus. Be the light as Jesus is the light!
Trunk-or-treat is a wonderful thing churches put together for the community. Followers of Christ are in the world, and while we are in the world we are called to make a difference...to be the light. It is a fun, safe place to meet people in your neighborhood. Most have more than just candy, there are games and food as well.
My husband and I will be going to a trunk or treat tonight, in just over an hour. We look forward to seeing the costumes and will enjoy the fun games. Most of all, we will love knowing we are creating a "hallowed be they name" night.
What about you? Comment or post pictures of how you are celebrating "hallowed be thy name". I love hearing from you!
TLK, Vivaciously Designed
Priorities are a part of everyday life. Most of us use calendars to keep task list of what needs to be done when, yet how many of us, at the end of the day, feel we have been productive.
Then there are those who have no lists. No to dos....and what seems to others and no priorities.
Our task lists, or lack there of, are patterns of our decisions. These patterns provide a map to what is most important to us and how we base our priorities. Even not having a task list there are patterns to our decision making. Looking at our decisions, we tend to base them around 5 simple aspects of living:
Financial - any element of your life where financial needs are a priority (i.e. job, work, stock market, etc
Mental - any element of your life where your mental state of mind is a priority (i.e. reading, spa, learning, etc.)
Spiritual - any element of your life where spirituality is a priority (i.e. meditation, devotion, church, etc.)
Physical - any element of your life where your physical needs are a priority (i.e. working out, eating, shopping, etc.)
Emotional - any element of you life where your emotional needs are priority (i.e. relational, coaching, therapy, etc.)
If you are the type of person who "has no schedule" and are spinning your wheels to get somewhere in life. Moving forward requires a plan. A plan is a road map, Priorities on what is important to get to where you are going to go. The cool thing about this road map is there are many, many different roads and routes to getting to your destination.
For those who are living based on schedules and task lists, feeling as if the production you are putting is out is costing more than it is brining in. Stop and take a look at your road map. Take a detour. Maybe you need to change the financial road to the spiritual road. Maybe you need a vacation, so you choose to take a mental route. Whatever it is, changing priorities doesn't change the destination, just how you get there.
So take a look at the output of your life. Your kids. Your family. Your job. Your home. You. Check your destination. Is the road your on, your output, leading you to your destination or have you somehow hit a detour? Pull out your road map of life and get moving once more. Align your priorities to fit the road and get moving!
Next time, Part3: Priority Is, Priority Does...what to do when others have different priorities than you.
TLK, Vivaciously Designed
Do you ever wonder why people say they are going to do something and then don't follow through and wish they would just get their act together?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you said you would be somewhere or do something then never followed through?
I know I have been in both situations and when either one of them happen, there is a very personal destruction thought pattern I go through. When either one of these situations take place I find myself thinking, "How in the world did that happen...again?" or "What kind of person must they think I am?" In either situation though, priority is, priority does!
Some may call it an integrity issue, I say it's a priority issue that affects the integrity. They go hand in hand.
No matter what relationship you find yourself in, from co-worker to spouse, there will always be times when what is important to you (a priority) is not important to the other person and vice-versa. Over the next couple of posts, I am going to be taking a look at what priorities are, how to change them if the results are not what was expected, and how to be in relationships when the other person had different priorities.
What Is Priorities?
Priorities are when a person, thing, or fact is regarded or is treated as more important than another.
In order to understand priorities and relationships, there is another word to look at. Culture, the who, what, where, when, why and how of every story, of every human being. Culture, always running from it or running to it, dictates what is important and drives each persons priorities. Culture can be propelled by emotions, thought patterns, as well as personal history. Culture = priorities, or does it?
Priorities are supposed to change as people change. Unfortunately, most people get "stuck" responding to life in the old culture rather than changing priorities to fit the new culture. A great example of culture changes are seen within the dating cycle (I am using a simple cycle, rather than a complete or complex dating cycle as I would use during a coaching session)
Culture shifts begin from the time we are born and continue throughout our life. Without the understanding of how to switch the priorities, or learning to change priorities to match the another person's priorities, it can be very exhausting mentally and emotionally.
Setting priorities is a selfless act. It is much easier to shift priorities when the other person has similar priorities, which is called being like-minded (Phil 2:2). This means each person is working with the same goal and are headed in the same direction. It is important to note, priorities are one of the elements that can either make or break any relationship. Learning to set priorities is a skill using critical thinking.
In Part II: Priority Is, Priority Does I will outline how to align priorities during culture shifts to receive expected results. In the mean time, let me know about your culture shifts by answering the following question: What culture shifts are you going through, and/or do your priorities fit the culture shift?
Tiffany K, Vivaciously Designed
Kevin, my husband, is hosting his first men's retreat this weekend. The entire weekend he will be speaking to a group of about 12-20 men about intimacy; how to be leaders both in their home and within the church.
The topic of intimacy is a big one because it is the essence of all relationships and what Love is.
I remember the first time I understood what Love was. It was something I was trying to ascertain and kept reaching for it daily. I had read about the Law of Attraction which states we receive what we reflect and I kept receiving heartache and pain. So what does it mean to reflect Love so that I could be love and be loved?
It means becoming intimate, first within my spiritual relationship, then second within my intra-personal relationship, which is the relationship with myself.
I spent many years searching for Love by giving of my body in sexual pleasures and received a bunch of emptiness in return. When someone asked me to give all of myself to them, the only thing I had cherished the most was my virginity, and I gave it away, what else is there left to give? Why would anyone want to carry my pain and guilt and remorse, those things I have carried most of my life?
I was born and raised in the Church of the Nazarene. My best memories as a small child are filled with fellowships and gatherings; where potlucks and Sunday evening celebrations were the norm. I can still hear the adults laughter, the children playing, and everyone gathering around the piano's to sing. I can even hear the silence as people sat and listened when someone was hurting and then the sound of everyone praying at the same time, adults and children alike. It is the sound that makes my soul skip. It is the sound of intimacy.
What happened to sharing our pain?
When did we become to embarrassed to let others know when we are hurting?
Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this the true essence of Love? Aren't we supposed to carry each other's burdens to the cross the way Christ carried our burdens on the cross for us when He died? Aren't we called to fellowship with one another, feeding each other and sharing our hopes and dreams in order to encourage each other?
And not just to those whom we call brother's and sister's, are we not also to give to those around us so that they too will know the Love God has for them?
I miss those moments in time! I miss fellowships! I miss realness! I miss intimacy!
It is moments like today, when my husband is away, I rely upon my intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father to carry me through. He knows everything about me and still loves me...just like my husband....just like my earthly father. We are in an intimate relationship together!
Are you wanting an intimate relationship with those around you? Start by looking at your spiritual relationship. What does it look like? Do you spend time investing in as much time your spiritual relationship as you do in your earthly relationships, or even your relationship with yourself?
It takes time to develop, and there are principles and priorities one must practice in order to build a strong healthy relationship, whether spiritual, intra-personal, or inter-personal but it can be done. Start today by just spending a little time in gratitude, even if it seems to be a bad day. Thank your Father for the day. Then find something within yourself you like and go reflect this to others. Maybe it is the fact you like to cook, or sing, or play music, or draw. Whatever it is, give it away to someone today and start building an intimate relationship with those around you.
Innocent perception is seeing life through the eyes of a child, the way children see life.
Simple. Judgement free. Carefree.
Using innocent perception to see people, places, and things is just the begging! The result it brings is a new way of thinking. A new you!
Perception plays a huge part in our decision making process, so creating innocent perception results in freedom with a rare opportunity to just be you!
10 ways to start to create innocent perception.
Comment below with other ways to create innocent perception.
~TK, Vivaciously Designed
"Half of all graduates express regrets, saying they would pick a different major or school if they had to do it all over again."
It seems the youth who are on their way to college, and even those in college, are so unsure of their identity, they are willing to graduate with a degree they are not even sure they want.
I believe this phenomena has been growing for many generations. It is creating a society of broken thinking. Where we choose to be someone we are not all with the mindset that monetary rewards is where there is peace and love. I know. I was part of this mindset.
Then I heard a new concept. Well, maybe not so new, rather accepted a truth I had a hard time believing. One I grew up with, yet never completely understood until about three years ago.
When God is taken out of the picture, so man becomes separated from God.
To find the passion, to get to the heart of the direction of life, is to get reconnected with spiritual thoughts and eyes, back to the essence of who we are when we were created. It is only there we will once again find our passions so we can follow our heart.
Every man has a dream.
Every man is created with a passion.
Every man is on this earth for a mission.
I have a passion to see others come alive with their own personal, unique dream. The statistics of today's youth is exactly why I do what I do. They are the future of our society. If they lose their dream, what is left.
There are many coaches and motivational speakers who point to being unique and following dreams. They speak on giving love and receiving love. You read their words all over social media and many of you share their quotes on Facebook or Twitter. Very few of these quotes point to the Truth. The True essence of Love.
It is a Truth which lies in Love and Forgiveness of one Man. One man who died for us so we may die to ourselves and experience the ultimate sacrifice of Love. It is the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is unavoidable.
The Kingdom of Heaven is near.
It is inside each one of us, although we must first look very close and find what this Love is all about.
It is the Love that separates us from man, rather than from God.
It is the Love that brings us back to being who we are, and puts away the wreckage of our pasts.
It is the Love that breeds the fruits of Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, and Self-Control.
It is a Love with no boundaries and knows no end.
It is the Love I coach others to give and to receive.
It is the stepping stone to living a balance life.
Without this Love we are lost. With it, we are born again. A life of chaos becomes a life of order. A life filled with strong core values.
The decision is up to us. Our choice. His Love.
Comment below if this type of Love is evident in your life. How did you come to experience it? How does it bring balance to your life, in everyday living?
~TK, Vivaciously Designed
Do you remember Melanie Griffith in Working Woman?
How about Julia Roberts in Erin Brochovich?
Or Dolly Parton & Lilly Tomlin in 9 to 5?
The dream of making it to the top are childhood memories of mine, believing..one day I will have the "one idea" or the "great inspiration" for the next big...you know the dream.
I actually remember telling my parents in high school I there was no need to learn to keep house or to cook for large groups of people because when I graduated college with my PhD I would hire someone to do all of the cleaning and cooking for me. Funny how life works out! I graduated high school in 1990 and it took until 2007 to make it to college. I taught myself everything there is to know to make a safe living in the corporate world, and I worked at a dead-end job with corporate america until 2012...all the while dreaming about what if... In 2012, tired of always being a part of dream going no where, I cashed in my 401K to start my own business.
It is a year later, and honestly, the first year of business owning didn't turn out quite as I expected it to. I have a dream and have yet to accomplish what I set out to do a year ago. Lesson learned: be sure when starting a business to start with the dream rather than the "after" dream (definition of "after" dream is the dream(s) that comes after the dream you have always been dreaming...the after dream).
What is my dream? To write and earn a PhD in Psychology. The dream building in my head since I was a child is:
To offer affordable coaching to the economically challenged by way of personal & business development, balanced living skills, and a mental tool bag providing opportunity to learn how to persevere and overcome any given circumstance in life.
I am finally at peace with life. The thumb in my back has disappeared. The idea of receiving a PhD keeps me moving in forward in school and now I have actually started writing someplace public. I woke up this morning believing I am living the dream...the beginning of the dream. It only took me 41 years to get here, and 22 years after graduating high school. This just goes to show it is never to late to head in the direction of your dreams.
So, as the saying from my favorite movie goes, "What's your dream?" (Pretty Woman)
~TK, Vivaciously Designed